I don't think my H really likes these changes, as they make things less convenient for him.
First off, keep doing the Work! I've seen some wonderful growth in the last year and, at the risk of sounding condescending, I'm quite proud of you.
The changes you're making are also altering the relationship dynamic you both spent years consciously and unconsciously developing. What's important to understand, for you in particular, is that this is something of a double whammy for him.
Infidelity permanently and profoundly alters the nature of a relationship. A betrayed spouses is suddenly faced with the fact that they didn't know the wayward spouse as well as they thought they did. That's difficult enough to even start to comprehend. We, the betrayed, end up questioning EVERYTHING. And rightfully so.
That baseline relationship dynamic still exists, however. We rely upon that dynamic to a certain extent to help navigate the changes brought on by the betrayal.
When a FWS begins to own and fix their shit, those changes can lead to even greater disorientation for the BS, compounding already fragile trust issues.
I don't necessarily agree that your husband doesn't like your growth and the changes your making. Of course, I don't know him, so that's a bit of projection. I'd imagine he's simply confused, possibly scared, and at a loss regarding his own responsibility to adapt.
I would highly encourage you to share your journey with him. Tell him everything you've shared here. Explain it as well as you can.
Now here's the scary part. There's only so much you can do to help him find his own way forward. It took me a few years to fully examine and understand the affects my ex-wife's betrayal had on me. It took me years to own and fix my own shit (my tendencies to avoid conflict and build walls).
I hope, for both of you, that he's willing and able to do the healing work he needs to do. I hope he's able to learn and adapt to this new dynamic between you. I hope...
I hope you're starting to understand why letting go of the outcome is so critically important.
I hope he keeps choosing you, this new you, this best version of you.
