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I agree

[This message edited by justsendit at 7:09 PM, Sunday, April 12th]

Justendit - I will start first by saying I agree with everything you said. All of it. 1000%

Now let me clarify a few things since there seems to be a slight misunderstanding about my wife driving.

She has ALWAYS taken her meds religiously. She has never driven without being released by her neurologist or against drs orders. In our state the waiting period to drive again after a seizure is 3 months. 3 months. Which I think is fucking insane. It should be at least a year.

The issue with us was, after her 3 months went by and her neurologist released her to drive again, I still said no. Now, we could get into it whether or not 3 months is long enough to be considered "safe." I personally don't think that's long enough. I think it should be a minimum of a year. MINIMUM. But it's not in Arizona. It's 3 months, and her Dr cleared her to drive. Which is what she threw in my face every time we got into an argument about it. I, in fact, used your drunk driving analogy when I argued with her several times.

Was she still being selfish? Yes, I think so. Absolutely. Was she not following her Dr's orders or breaking the law? No. She did everything by the book and has always followed her Dr's orders. I still just didn't think it was safe enough, and I fought with her about it, but she didn't do anything illegal or against her Dr's orders. Every time she's had a seizure she stopped driving for 3 months and got clearance before driving again.

I think the law needs changed and possibly her Dr needs smacked, but it was what it was. That said, it's been over a year and a half since she's gotten behind the wheel, and she's has completely stopped arguing with me about it. Fortunately the accidents she's gotten into no one was ever hurt. As far as I'm concerned she's not driving ever again, and she's okay with that now.

Ohhhh I see. That was my mistake then, and I apologize for my post.

As far as timing goes, there are several states that allow a 3 month period of being seizure free before driving privileges are restored. I think most states are 6-12 months. It can be shortened depending on the reason for the seizure (a known cause of breakthrough in someone previously well-controlled).

However, if the seizures are uncontrolled, we usually push it further. In some cases, we will have their driver’s license suspended. Well, physicians cannot suspend a license but we have a line of communication with the DMV and they will suspend it on our recommendation. I don’t follow patients on the outpatient basis, but the Neurologists I work with will typically push a longer driving hiatus if there are frequent breakthroughs that they are still actively working to control. So, while the letter of the law seemed to have been followed, most Neurologists I work with would have pushed for probably a 12 month evaluation period if she was still having seizures, as it is a danger to herself and others (as per my previous harangue).

Anywho, that’s just some of the logistics of these workings. I apologize again for my misunderstanding and the strong reaction I had to it.

[This message edited by justsendit at 9:06 PM, Sunday, April 12th]

That was the crux of a lot of our problems leading into her affair. She got into a fender bender last October. She was restricted for the following 3 months. After a new med was added, her 3 months was up, and she was cleared in January I fought her on it. The fights got bad. I managed to prevent her from driving, but it got nasty. That's when Mr wonderful entered the picture. He, too has epilepsy and he drives anyway. He used that to convince her I was an overbearing, controlling asshole who was just being mean and controlling for no reason because she was cleared to drive. Our d day was in April.

Well, I should say she allowed him to convince her I was a bad husband. In either case it was a really bad period for us and she's changed a lot in the last year. He's a piece of shit in her eyes now and the driving thing is a complete non issue now.

justsendit wrote:

Anywho, that’s just some of the logistics of these workings. I apologize again for my misunderstanding and the strong reaction I had to it.

I don't blame you. I really don't, tho I appreciate you acknowledging it.

I got just as heated with her when I would argue with her about it. I wasn't nice about it. I said very similar things to her. I just didn't think it was safe, the law be damned. The more she fought me on it the more I pushed back, and it just kept escalating. I don't think 3 months is long enough, period, and I was right.

[This message edited by Pogre at 9:27 PM, Sunday, April 12th]

I see you man, I do.

And I agree, her actions are her’s and her’s alone. Though I guess it doesn’t help when the AP is a world class douche wagon. I’ll transfer my earlier posts onto him then, since it appears he enjoys driving with non-controlled epilepsy.

Though I guess it doesn’t help when the AP is a world class douche wagon. I’ll transfer my earlier posts onto him then, since it appears he enjoys driving with non-controlled epilepsy.

Yes, he deserves it. He had more frequent seizures, lied to his Dr about them, and would not take his meds when he wanted to drink. Which was fairly often. A real piece of work. She told me the one time she had a disagreement with him was about - you guessed it - her giving him crap for not taking his meds and driving. So a double whammy. Not only did he drive with non controlled epilepsy, he would drink and drive on top of it.

I seriously have no clue what she saw in him. I don't get it at all. I'm a better man than he is by pretty much every metric. It disgusts me, and to her credit now, it disgusts her, too.

As it is, he's a piece of dog shit I've scraped from the bottom of my shoe. Mostly gone from my reality, tho some of that odor still occasionally wafts into my nostrils.